Care versus Provocation for Personal Development and Spiritual Growth
Right now, with covid and global warming, my concern is that people will hunker down and seek to be soothed, instead of rising to the challenge of the provocations.
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The Russian mystic George Gurdjieff was rumoured to have hosted orgies for his normally well-behaved middle-class followers. It is said that he created a seductive atmosphere and hypnotically inducted his party guests into their orgy. Then, when they were all fully engaged in their sensual activity, he would clap his hands and shout Wake up! Wake up! Do not be animals. Be fully conscious and awake!
True story or not, it hints at a long tradition of provocative activities intended to shift people into a new state of consciousness. Wake up, he was saying. Do not be robots. You have higher consciousness.
This startling tactic recognises the usefulness of discomfort on the spiritual journey to enlightenment.
Does the usefulness of provocation and discomfort have any relevance to covid and global warming?
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I once sat in a meditation class where the teacher hit my back with a stick to correct my posture.
I have also experienced workshops where the doors were locked and there was no organisation or structure. The group stormed, normed and were expected to enter new states of detachment and awareness. Sometimes the result was a good-humoured shift. Other times just irritability.
There are provocations that are more gentle, for example in the Zen and Sufi traditions where humour, riddles and paradox are used to shift consciousness. What is the sound of one hand clapping? is one of the most well-known.
Shortly after a stroke which paralysed one side of his body, the American hippy guru, Ram Dass, wryly commented: I now truly understand the sound of one hand clapping. He fully appreciated the tradition of provocation and paradox.
In nursing and social work, there is an appreciation too of what is sometimes called post-traumatic awakening. In my own life I have had two long and painful illnesses. In both there were key moments when I realised I had a choice. Continue moaning, complaining and being victim — or shift into another state of consciousness.
The new state was more detached, but also kinder, more accepting and more appreciative of life in general. I understood that these painful experiences were an opportunity for growth and learning.
This is not to say that I applaud or want illness and pain for myself or anyone else. Equally I want to muzzle those cleverdicks who respond to others’ pain and suffering with a passive aggressive, know-all quip that someone’s suffering and misfortune are useful stimulants for personal development.
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In this context I often quote the professor of nursing, Margaret Newman. Between birth and death, she taught, everyone experiences cycles of health and illness. A nurse’s obvious role and calling is to relieve suffering. But equally important, she suggested to them, is that they midwife consciousness. Patients could make more sense, find greater meaning in their illness, if they woke up to a higher consciousness. To be more conscious, more discerning and more connected, can provide the deepest relief and healing of suffering.
And here we have the raw poignancy and paradox. There is a polarity. On the one hand we can relieve suffering through care. On the other we can relieve it through awakening.
Relieve Suffering
Care ← or → Awakening
So when the meditation teacher struck my back with his stick was he helping to birth my consciousness or just being abusive? Was Gurdjieff perverted or strategic? Is the sound of one hand clapping just a cleverdick’s quip?
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It is surely obvious that when someone is in a state of trauma, it is offensive and abusive to use provocation to awaken them. Trauma requires care and patience.
But when someone is not in trauma, but just habitually complaining or just habitually unconscious in their thinking and behaviour, then provocation is useful.
But who is to judge whether someone is in trauma or not?
Over the last few years, the concept of trauma and its effects have become very well-known, almost fashionable. It has added deep and useful insights to our understanding of psychological distress and development. There is also a problem here when trauma is wrongly diagnosed and is equated with the suffering that arises when people’s desires have not been met.
Not getting what we want, being thwarted in our desires, is not trauma.
No family, for example, is one hundred per cent perfect. Therefore, is it appropriate to claim trauma because there was not enough affectionate parenting or kind schoolteachers? There is a difference between active abuse and a lack of love.
This is a difficult grey area and requires sensitive reality checking.
In Christianity the greatest symbol of this challenging ambiguity is Jesus on the cross — a messenger of unconditional love in a state of torture. I have several friends who in sincere states of spiritual enquiry have contemplated Christ’s passion and crucifixion. When in their contemplation they have approached his tortured body on the cross, Jesus smiled and winked at them with loving good humour.
We are in a very grey area here.
Sometimes comfort, care and soothing are one hundred per cent necessary.
Sometimes to care for someone who is complaining, is to collude with them.
Other times a provocative kick is appropriate.
Occasionally the spiritual path asks us to take risks and throw ourselves into chasms of fire.
How can we steer ourselves through these raw ambiguities? The only way forward is an ongoing reflective practice in which we apply compassionate awareness and a moral compass. We learn our lessons, become more conscious, and perhaps wiser and more loving.
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But this enquiry is not complete unless we also address the elephant in the room. This is the human shadow.
Here is a reality check and some unpleasant observations about human behaviour and psychology:
We can be obstinate, self-sabotaging, cunning, nasty and cruel. We are capable of ignorance, sociopathy and a complete lack of moral compass. We can be ingenious and self-sabotaging in how we deny and cloak our shadow behaviours, harmful addictions and compulsive polluting habits. We can invent so many stories and excuses to justify our meanness and closed hearts.
Look at any awful behaviour . . . There but for the grace of God go we . . .
It is therefore normal that our spiritual paths to more love, consciousness and connection can be fraught.
Our shadows do not go away just because we ignore them. We have to acknowledge, wrestle with, heal and integrate our shadow aspects. This is a normal part of personal development.
So although we may not appreciate or like it, it is crucial to identify and own our shadows.
As Carl Jung put it: One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
This then is another blessing brought by provocations and crazy gurus. They can wake us up and they can illuminate our shadows.
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The injustice and suffering experienced by our fellow beings should be enough to provoke our awakening.
But when the pain of others does not trigger our hearts and birth compassionate mindfulness, then provocations and crazy gurus are surely to be welcomed, even invited, into the privacy of our growth.
Of course, external provocateurs can be threatening, even traumatising. I do not want meditation masters hitting me or hungry ghosts jumping out of the shadows.
But I do know that risk and stretching beyond our usual comfort zones can be crucial in awakening.
Right now, with covid and global warming, my concern is that people will hunker down and seek to be soothed, instead of rising to the challenge of the provocations.
In times of crisis, we especially are called to model spiritual leadership and be the change that we want to see.
So if I have any advice for the coming year it would be:
Think, do and be different from your usual patterns.
Stretch beyond your comfort.
More spiritual generosity and good humour.
Stop complaining. Stop being surprised by the state of the world. Be surprised by yourself.
Throw yourself into the chasm of fiery enlightenment and awakening.
Relieve suffering. Midwife consciousness.
More love. More compassion.